Who says the Internet does not provide cost-cutting benefits? For all of you
who think the pastor is paid too much, the Internet may offer a solution.
You yourself can become a minister, and you can, therefore, cut the cost of
a minister, as in your churchs minister.
Who says the Internet does not provide cost-cutting benefits? For all of you
who think the pastor is paid too much, the Internet may offer a solution.
You yourself can become a minister, and you can, therefore, cut the cost of
a minister, as in your churchs minister.
You can become a legally ordained minister within 48 hours. All you have to
do is send Charles Simpson $29.95, and he will make you a legally ordained minister.
How does he have this power? I do not know, but it says right here in the e-mail
that he has the power to do it.
His remarkable offer costs only $29.95 (less than a meal at a nice restaurant
and movie would cost), and here is what it will buy you, according to the e-mail.
“Marry (one assumes he means conduct the ceremony) your brother, sister,
or your best friend. Dont settle for being the best man or brides
maid.”
Also, “Funerals (are) a very hard time for you and your family. Dont
settle for a minister you dont know!”
By baptizing folks, “You can say, Welcome to the world! I am your
minister and your uncle! What a special way to welcome a child of God!”
Mr. Simpson obviously hails from a non-Baptist background.
The e-mail says your ordination vests you with the power to forgive sin. “The
Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries. Forgiveness
of sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for
the better!”
This certificate enables you to visit correctional facilities. “Since
you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need! Preach the Word
of God to those who have strayed from the flock.”
You can start your own church – “After your legal ordination.”
Charles Simpson says his certificate of ordination is a bargain. “Considering
the value of becoming a certified minister Id say the program is easily
worth $100. Wouldnt you agree? However, it wont cost that much.
Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so
average folks can benefit from the power of it. Since I know how much you want
to help others, youre going to receive your Minister Certification for
under $100 . . . Not even $50.00 . . . You are going to receive the entire life-changing
course for only $29.95.”
To prove your ordination, you will receive an “eight-inch by 10-inch certificate
in color, with gold seal.” This is a “professionally printed by an
ink press proof of Minister Certificate in your name.” And you do not have
to pay an extra penny for shipping.
After thinking about Mr. Simpsons offer, one can only wonder if one can
become a surgeon or a rocket scientist by ordering a mail-order certificate?
Granted, the technical skills needed to be a surgeon or rocket scientist are
somewhat different from those necessary for becoming a minister. But a mail-order
certificate cannot make one a minister any more than a piece of paper makes
one a physician.
I have a better bargain than Mr. Simpson offers – it is your local Baptist
minister. The vast majority of ministers are worth far more, are far more skilled,
are far better trained with wider experience than most of their salaries and
benefits would reflect. Most of them would be thrilled if their workweeks contained
only 50 to 60 hours a week. Their job demands are great, and the expectations
of parishioners are usually unreasonably high. And they are usually paid no
more than the church has to pay to enable them to accept a call.
Thanks, Mr. Simpson, I have a better offer than your certificate.
But, if you have a certificate that will make me a computer repairman, I would
be interested.