By John Hebert, Louisiana Baptists missions and ministry team leader
ALEXANDRIA (LBM)–A few weeks ago my wife posted a picture of the two of us on Facebook and one of my cousins in Ohio commented, or rather questioned in a comment, “Why is Kitty taking a picture with Uncle Huey” (my Dad)?
I thought to myself, “Very funny,” but did not post a response.
The way we look, certain traits, characteristics, and even parts of our personalities are linked to genetics and is the result of the DNA contributions by our ancestors. Our progenitors set in motion elements of our health, our height and probably our disposition.
In the same way that genetics shape our lives, ancient cultures have shaped our society. The ancients made many contributions to modern society:
— the Egyptians developed mathematics;
— the Mesopotamians the wheel, plow and first code of laws;
— the Chinese made contributions to the arts and sciences; and,
— the Greeks gave us philosophy, democracy and the Olympic Games.
The Romans, of course, gave us cement.
Actually they gave us much more than that, but this contribution led to the actual building of the Roman Empire — tunnels, bridges, aqueducts, Roman arches and amphitheaters all were possible because of the invention of “pozzolanic” cement — and it was a key factor in the later development of the modern world.
The Romans found that pulverized volcanic ash added to limestone created a physical bond so significant that it would set, or stick together, even under water.
Successful church planters and pastors know what makes their organizations “stick together.” The cement that holds them together is relationships, and if practitioners are to be successful they need to know how to effectively build relationships.
All successful organizations are defined by relationships: leaders to followers; followers with other followers; and, internal with external groups.
Successful organizations create solid, “stick together,” relationships among members.
I was fortunate as a teenager to play on a very successful basketball team. We were state champs. While there are many other skills to master to be a state champ, the importance of good relationships among teammates ranks very high. We were like brothers.
In what I think was author Stephen Ambrose’s best book, “Band of Brothers,” Ambrose wrote of the relationships between the members of “Easy” Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment of the 101st Airborne Division: “Within Easy Company they had made the best friends they had ever had, or would ever have. They were prepared to die for each other; more important, they were prepared to kill for each other.”
They thought highly of each other. In one of his last newsletters, Mike Ranney, a member of E Company wrote: “In thinking back on the days of Easy Company, I’m treasuring my remark to a grandson who asked, ‘Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?’
“No,” I answered, “but I served in a company of heroes.”
In his remark you can clearly see the point is not the “killing.” Instead, it’s the bonding that occurred.
These troops were considered to be some of the most effective in World War II, and the bond they shared was certainly a major factor in their success.
So the successful church planter should master the skill of building these kinds of relationships between him and his team of leaders, as well as with rank and file team members, too.
To some people the art of building relationships is a natural ability. It is connected to the DNA they received from their parents in the form of their personality. To put it short, they are very “likable” and are naturally interested in people. They connect through social networks of their own construction and because they are interested in people they are empathetic and the bond comes natural.
For others the skill must be acquired.
To gain mastery of this skill, start with Scripture references with obvious meaning so no explanation is needed:
— Ephesians 4:2 says “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
— 1 Peter 4:8 also makes “love” a priority, saying, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Learn to empathize with others and your social network will swell in numbers.
Develop your ability to relate to a diverse group of people and take advantage of opportunities to respond to the needs of others, whether physical or emotional in nature.
These skills will help you to be an initiator in relationships and serve as the cement that will hold your organization together.
Being effective in building relationships is described as cementing relationships in 1 Peter 2:5: “You, also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”
Develop your own approach to cementing relationships — find ways to invest yourself in others and to cultivate closeness. You can’t effectively develop relationships without closeness.
A personal conversation is one of the best ways to relate to others. But simply spending time with those you are cultivating — doing things they like to do — is also effective.
Go out of your way to be a friend, and you will be rewarded with quality relationships.
Next time you see a Roman, thank him for inventing cement!
Also, don’t forget to thank your parents and grandparents for the DNA they gave you.
Most importantly, thank the Lord Jesus for helping us create the bond that holds everything together… relationships.
