The life of a man in the ministry can be taxing to say the least, but what about life for his wife?
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP) – The life of a man in the ministry can be taxing to say the least, but what about life for his wife?
About 300 ministers’ wives from across the United States and as far away as Japan met at a “Between Us Ministers’ Wives” conference March 12-13 in Nashville, Tenn. The women’s events area of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention organized the gathering, which preceded a Beth Moore Living Proof Live event for ministers’ wives.
One of the best reasons to be there, one wife said, was to see she was not alone.
By and large, the ministers’ wives said they were happy to be married to men on church staffs. “I felt like I knew what I was getting into because he was already in the ministry when we got married,” one wife said. “I married the man, but got the ministry along with him.”
Chris Adams, LifeWay’s senior lead women’s ministry specialist, described ministers’ wives as special women.
“They deal with all the issues that being married involves, but in a fishbowl,” Adams said. “Then, if they have children, they may feel like the church is looking at her, expecting her to be a perfect mother of perfect kids. That’s a lot of pressure for anyone.”
Adams said LifeWay had wanted to host the Between Us conference to help equip ministers’ wives for some-time. “We thought having it in conjunction with the Living Proof Live event for ministers’ wives was ideal. I think the women agreed,” Adams said.
A panel of ministers’ wives, past and present, opened the event, including Becky Badry, director of women’s missions and ministry for the Colorado Baptist General Convention and a chaplain’s wife; Rachel Lovingood, a writer, teacher and student pastor’s wife from Hendersonville, Tenn.; and Leighann McCoy, author, coordinator of prayer and women’s ministries and pastor’s wife from Thompson’s Station, Tenn., sat on the panel. Three LifeWay staff members also were on the panel: Pam Case, who also is a pastor’s wife from Nashville; Karen Alexander-Doyel, also an author and pastor’s widow from Lenoir City, Tenn.; and Jennifer Landrith, also a conference leader and pastor’s wife from Hendersonville, Tenn.;
Among the issues they listed that ministers’ wives face:
-“I’m really lonely.”
-“Who can I trust?”
– “How do I raise my kids in ministry?”
-“What do I do about all these other women who love and adore my husband?”
– “There’s so much criticism.”
-“Church members always want me to be a messenger from them to my husband.”
The panel members offered advice based on their own experiences:
“Never forget that you are the absolute best, perfect minister’s wife for your church,” Alexander-Doyel said, “because God specifically placed you there. It’s no accident you are where you are.”
“Remember that you are only responsible for you. I can’t control anyone else’s spiritual growth, passion or anything. Seek God first every day,” Lovingood said.
“Be real. Be who God designed you to be,” Landrith said.
“Every day when something hard comes up remember that there will be something awesome on the other side,” Case said.
“Your first call is to walk with God. Your second is to take care of your husband and your family. Your third is to the ministry,” Badry said.
“Wear only waterproof mascara,” said McCoy, getting a hearty “amen” from the crowd.