Okay, to begin, by and large, the United States still is a marrying nation – at least that much can be settled from the outset.
Okay, to begin, by and large, the United States
still is a marrying nation – at least that much can be settled from the
outset.
But … fewer couples are marrying these days – and
more are choosing to live together, the 2005 State of Our Unions study
indicates. In other words, the “state of our unions” best can be
described as – well – shifting.
Actually, precarious may be a better word.
And children are paying the highest price.
“There has been a weakening of marriage and the
nuclear family in advanced, industrialized societies, especially since
the 1960s, …” researcher David Popenoe writes in the essay
accompanying this year’s annual report on marriage.
And the United States has been one of the countries
leading the decline, he adds. Indeed, only 63 percent of American
children under age 18 live with both biological parents, the lowest
number of Western industrialized nations.
“One paramount family goal for modern societies
today … is to create the conditions whereby an increasing number of
children are able to grow up with their own two married parents,”
Popenoe emphasizes. “If this is a worthy goal, and I think it is, …
the United States (has) failed badly, and millions of children have
been hurt.”
What in the world is happening to marriage in America?
The study by the National Marriage Project offers
several indications. The National Marriage Project is an ongoing,
nonpartisan research and education initiative located at Rutgers
University in New Jersey.
In the 2005 study, six key marriage findings were cited.
KEY FINDING: Overall, Americans are becoming less likely to marry.
The number of annual marriages in the United States
declined by almost 50 percent from 1970 to 2004, researchers noted.
Indeed, there has been a sizable drop in the percentage of American
adults who are married.
Several factors may contribute to such a trend,
including the delaying of first marriages to later ages and the
increase in persons choosing a single lifestyle.
But a key reason also is the rise in cohabitation.
“It is important to note that the decline in
marriage does not mean that people are giving up on living together
with a sexual partner,” the study notes. “On the contrary, … marriage
is giving ground to unwed unions. Most people now live together before
they marry for the first time. … And a growing number of persons,
both young and old, are living together with no plans for eventual
marriage.”
Meanwhile, of those Americans who are married, just
64.6 percent of those surveyed from 1998-2002 characterize their unions
as “very happy” – and that is an increase from the previous four-year
period.
KEY FINDING: The divorce rate in the United States
has declined slightly as of late, but it still is twice that of 1960
and the probability of divorce for a couple marrying in recent years
remains high.
After holding steady for two decades following World
War II, the divorce rate began to climb in the 1960s. By the 1980s, it
had reached historical highs.
In 1960, there were 9.2 divorces per 1,000 women age
15 and older. By 1980, the rate had more than doubled to 22.6 divorces
per 1,000 women. It since has declined to 17.7 divorces per 1,000
women, which still represents almost a doubling from four decades ago.
“Overall, the chances remain very high – estimated
between 40 percent and 50 percent – that a marriage started in recent
years will end in either divorce or separation before one partner
dies,” the marriage report notes.
KEY FINDING: The number of unmarried couples that
choose simply to live together is increasing dramatically in the United
States.
In 1960, about 439,000 unmarried couples were living
together. By 2004, the number had grown to more than
5 million, an increase of almost 1200 percent.
The trend especially is prevalent among younger
Americans. It also is more common among those with lower education and
income levels; the less religious; persons who have been divorced; and
those who experienced fatherlessness or parental divorce or discord in
childhood.
Overall, more than half of all first marriages now
are preceded by a period of cohabitation. And more than 40 percent of
cohabiting households now include children.
Researchers note that many couples see cohabitation
as a prelude to marriage. Others view it as an alternative to living
alone or even as an alternative to marriage.
But for those who consider living together as a trial period for subsequent marriage, the news is not good.
“The belief that living together before marriage is
a useful way ‘to find out whether you really get along’ and, thus,
avoid a bad marriage and an eventual divorce, is now widespread among
young people,” the report notes.
“But the available data on the effects of
cohabitation fail to confirm this belief. In fact, a substantial body
of evidence indicates that those who live together before marriage are
more likely to break up after marriage.”
Whether that is due to the fact of cohabitation or
other factors related to couples most likely to live together is a
matter of debate, researchers acknowledge.
“(But) What can be said for certain is that no
evidence has yet been found that those who cohabit before marriage have
stronger marriages than those who do not,” they conclude in the
recently-released report.
KEY FINDING: The presence of children in the nation
has declined – and the decline has contributed to the weakening of
marriage as an institution.
“Throughout history marriage has first and foremost
been an institution for procreation and raising children,” the State of
Our Unions report notes.
“It has provided the cultural tie that seeks to hold
the father to the mother-child bond. Yet, in recent times, children
increasingly have been pushed from center stage.”
On the average, Americans are having fewer children,
a trend that has continued since 1960. In 2003, the last year of
record, the total fertility rate stood slightly above 2 children per
woman – a little below the level a population must maintain to replace
itself through births alone.
In 1960, about half of all American households
included children. By 2000, less than one-third of
households had children. Put another way, in 1960, a person spent about
62 percent of life with a spouse and children. By 2000, the level was
down to 43 percent, a historical low brought about by a rising divorce
rate and falling birth rate.
“This obviously means that adults are less likely to
be living with children, that neighborhoods are less likely to contain
children, and that children are less likely to be a consideration in
daily life,” the report notes.
“It suggests that the needs and concerns of children
– especially young children – gradually may be receding from our
national consciousness.”
The lowered birth rate is affecting marriage as well.
Increasingly, Americans are viewing marriage and
childrearing as separate pursuits. Indeed, many now view children as an
impediment to marital happiness.
For instance, the United States leads industrialized
nations in disagreeing with the statement “the main purpose of marriage
is having children.” Overall, nearly 70 percent of Americans say the
main purpose of marriage is something else altogether. Likewise, in one
poll, 85 percent of Americans disagreed with the idea that a couple
should stay together for the sake of the children.
KEY FINDING: The percentage of American children
growing up in “fragile” families has skyrocketed, primarily due to
divorce, out-of-wedlock births and unmarried cohabitation.
“There is now ample evidence that stable and
satisfactory marriages are crucial for the wellbeing of adults,” the
recent report notes. “Yet, such marriages are even more important for
the proper socialization and overall wellbeing of children. (Indeed) A
central purpose of the institution of marriage is to ensure the
responsible and long-term involvement of both biological parents in the
difficult and time-consuming task of raising the next generation.”
Thus, the trend to single-parent families may be the
most significant of those impacting children, researchers say. They
note that children in such households are two to three times more
likely to experience negative outcomes in life.
Still, the trend is undeniable. In 1960, just 9
percent of all children lived in single-parent homes. By 2004, the
total had risen to 28 percent – and the overwhelming number of those
families are mother-only.
Research also indicates that children in
stepfamilies face no better life outlooks than those in single-parent
homes, the report continues. Currently, about 9 percent of all
two-parent households are stepfamilies.
All in all, the number of children living without
their biological father is up from 17 percent in 1960 to 34 percent.
Three factors are fueling the trends – divorce, the
increased rate of unwed mothers and the rise in cohabiting couples.
More than one-third of all births in 2003 were to unwed mothers – and
an estimated 40 percent of all American children are expected to spend
some time in a cohabiting household at some point in their lives.
The later figure especially is troubling, the report says.
“Children who grow up in cohabiting couples tend to
have worse life outcomes compared to those growing up with married
couples,” researchers explain. “Prominent reasons are that cohabiting
couples have a much higher breakup rate than married couples, a lower
level of household income and a higher level of child abuse and
domestic violence. (And) The proportion of cohabiting mothers who
eventually marry the fathers of their children is declining, to 44
percent in 1997 – a decline sadly predictive of increased problems for
children.”
KEY FINDING: The desire of American teenagers for a
“Good” marriage and family life is up – but the young people still have
become more accepting of alternatives to marriage.
The attitudes of American young people are important
indicators to whether they will continue the trends of recent years or
stage a counterrevolution, researchers say.
Part of the news is hopeful – the percentage of
American youth who say a good marriage and family life is “extremely
important” to them is up slightly.
Eighty-two percent of American girls hold to that
view, compared to 70 percent of boys. In turn, 83 percent of girls and
78 percent of boys say they expect to marry.
Likewise, American youth have grown a bit more optimistic about whether their unions will last a lifetime.
However, troubling views remain.
For instance, just about 31 percent of American
girls and 39 percent of boys agree that most people will have fuller
and happier lives if their marry rather than stay single or live with
someone.
Also, about 55 percent of American girls and boys
now agree that having a child without being married is a worthwhile
lifestyle. That is a sizable jump from the late 1970s, when one-third
of girls and 41 percent of boys agreed.
Finally, about 44 percent of American girls and 50
percent of boys say it is a good idea for couples to live together
before marriage. Interestingly, those
percentages are down from the late 1990s. Researchers suggest young
people may be getting the ever-increasing message that cohabitation is
linked to a higher divorce risk.
Overall, there is some – however slight – reason for
hope, researchers conclude. “There are no strong signs yet of a
generational shift that could lead to a reversal of recent family
trends, but some data … suggest that the views of teenagers are –
with the exception of unwed childbearing – moving in a more
conservative direction.”
And at this point, even slight hope is cause for cheer.