For some time now, leaders have warned that Southern Baptists are falling farther and farther behind in the task of evangelism – failing even to win many of their own children to faith in Christ.
For some time now, leaders have warned that Southern
Baptists are falling farther and farther behind in the task of
evangelism – failing even to win many of their own children to faith in
Christ.
They have speculated that an entire generation – and perhaps even two – may be lost to the gospel.
They have bemoaned the fact that many young people
are growing up without a firm grasp of moral absolutes – indeed, even
growing up with a belief that such absolutes do not exist.
And they have shaken their heads in despair at the
fact that surveys indicate Christians pattern their lives no
differently from non-Christians.
Now, a new Barna Research Group poll offers a clue
as to why those conditions exist – although it definitely is not an
easy one to hear.
The poll indicates that the simple truth is – too
few parents see spiritual development as an important part of their
work.
Apparently, that includes too many Christian parents.
“The fact that most Christian parents overlook this
critical responsibility is one of the biggest challenges to the
Christian church,” said George Barna, founder of the Barna Research
Group and one of the leading Christian researchers in the nation.
Barna has numbers to back up his assessment.
In the recently-released study, Barna asked 707
parents to identify qualities that make a parent successful, desirable
outcomes parents have for their children and key trade-offs parents see
themselves making in rearing their children.
Responses offered interesting – and sometimes disquieting – insights.
In identifying key qualities for parents, a little
more than one-third (36 percent) of respondents cited patience as the
top need. It was followed closely by demonstrating love, which was
cited by 32 percent of parents.
Enforcing discipline was cited by 22 percent, as was
being understanding. Those two qualities were followed by having a
significant faith commitment and an identifiable set of religious
beliefs, which was cited as a key quality by one of every five (20
percent) parents surveyed.
Four other qualities were cited by 10 percent or
more of parents – having good communication skills (17 percent), being
compassionate (14 percent), knowing how to listen (12 percent) and
being intelligent (11 percent).
No other quality reached the 10 percent mark in the
survey. These included such things as being an encouraging person (9
percent), having substantial emotional strength (8 percent), making
consistent choices (8 percent), having a clear philosophy of parenting
(7 percent), knowing how to plan and set goals (6 percent), being a
praying person (4 percent) and having integrity or good character (1
percent).
Researchers also asked parents to identify the most
important outcome they are committed to helping their children realize.
Getting a good education easily topped the list, cited by 39 percent of parents.
It was followed by helping the child to feel loved
(24 percent) and enabling them to have a meaningful relationship with
Jesus Christ (22 percent).
Other outcomes cited included fostering a sense of
security (16 percent); helping children to feel affirmed and encouraged
(14 percent); providing a firm spiritual foundation (13 percent);
delivering basic necessities, such as food (12 percent) and shelter (10
percent); helping children feel happy (10 percent); helping children
have a sense of belonging or connection (9 percent); being and feeling
safe (8 percent); and helping children to establish appropriate moral
values (4 percent).
Finally, parents were asked about four specific
circumstances they may face as parents – and how they negotiate those
areas with their children.
First, parents were asked if they are more likely to
engage in battle with their children regarding every issue that emerges
in order to establish control and boundaries or to limit battles to
particular issues deemed to be significant.
More than three out of four parents (77 percent)
said they pick their battles. Just 13 percent said they feel it is
important to engage on each issue.
Second, parents were asked if they tell their child
that the Bible teaches moral absolutes that always must be obeyed no
matter what or that there are no moral absolutes and the child must be
prepared to make good choices in every situation without absolute
guidelines.
On that issue, parents were almost evenly divided –
43 percent said they teach moral absolutes, and 45 percent said they do
not.
Third, parents were asked if they give their
children general guidelines about the amount and quality of television,
music and other media they have access to and, then, allow the kids to
regulate themselves or if they set strict limits on the amount and
quality of media children are able to access.
On that front, 56 percent of parents said they give
their children general guidelines and, then, allow them to monitor
themselves. In turn, 36 percent said they provide strict guidelines in
the area of media.
Finally, parents were asked how they define success
as a parent – by having done the best they could or by the results, the
“fruit of their efforts.”
A strong majority (62 percent) said success is
defined by having done one’s best, while 28 percent said it is defined
by the results demonstrated in a child’s life.
Surprisingly, the faith commitment of the parents
themselves made little difference in the responses, Barna noted in
statements accompanying the survey.
Of the parents surveyed, about half (366) were
classified as born-again Christians. For Barna’s research purposes,
born again Christians are persons who say they have made a personal
commitment to Jesus Christ that still is important to their lives today
and say they will go to heaven when they die because they have
confessed their sins and accepted Christ as their savior.
“You might expect that parents who are born again
Christians would take a different approach to raising their children
than did parents who have not committed their life to Christ – but that
was rarely the case,” Barna noted of the results.
Indeed, in breakdowns of results, born again
Christian parents were no different from others in identifying the
important parental qualities, the outcomes they hope to facilitate for
their children and the way they monitor media in the home.
There was one area of key difference – born again
parents were twice as likely as others to teach children that there are
certain moral absolutes they should obey.
“However, even on that matter, less than six out of
ten born again parents took such a position,” Barna pointed out.
The Christian researcher said he also was surprised
with how few born again parents said it was important to help their
children have a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ.
“Only three out of 10 born again parents included
the salvation of their child in the list of critical parental
emphases,” Barna noted. “Parents cannot force or ensure that their kids
become followers of Christ. But for that emphasis to not be on the
radar screen of most Christian parents is a significant reason why most
Americans never embrace Jesus Christ as their savior.
“We know that parents still have a huge influence on
the choices their children make, and we also know that most people
either accept Christ when they are young or not at all,” Barna noted.
The researcher suggested the survey offers a clue as
to why most born again Christians do not think or behave any
differently from others – as studies indicate.
“It often seems that their faith makes very little
difference in their lives,” Barna said. “This new study helps explain
why that is – believers do not train their children to think or act any
differently.
“When our kids are exposed to the same influences,
without much supervision, and are generally not guided to interpret
their circumstances and opportunities in light of biblical principles,
it’s no wonder that they grow up to be just as involved in gambling,
adultery, divorce, cohabitation, excessive drinking and other
unbiblical behaviors as everyone else.”
The parenting role is essential in changing that trend, Barna indicated.
Indeed, what is built into children in their first
12 years represents the moral and spiritual foundation that defines and
directs them for the rest of their lives, he said.
“Garbage in, garbage out,” Barna warned. “There’s no
magic that suddenly changes the young person from what they were
trained to be in their formative years into a model Christian once they
get older.”
(This article was written by LBM Associate Editor C.
Lacy Thompson based on a report from the Barna Research Group. The
Barna Research Group survey of parents has a maximum margin of error of
plus or minus 3.8 percent. The breakdown of born again Christian
parents has a maximum margin of error of plus or minus 5.5 percent. For
information on the Barna Research