Okay, gang, lets have a little chat about driving in interstate holiday
traffic.
Okay, gang, lets have a little chat about driving in interstate holiday
traffic.
First, just know that getting from home to Grandmas house is going to
take longer. Count on it. Plan for it. Certainly we all want to get to Grandmas
house while the turkey is still fresh and the dressing in the back seat is still
warm, but it aint gonna happen Accept it; it is not the end of the world.
On your drive, you can rant and rave and honk and shake fists and make everyone
in your car and the cars you encounter miserable, but it will not get you there
one second faster. The rest of the traffic is going some 10 miles an hour over
the legal speed limit anyway, so settle for that.
You can struggle to pass every car on the road, but when the traffic is bumper
to bumper for a hundred or more miles, you are wasting your time, energy and
anger. I have seen drivers unmercifully pushing their autos, working for five
minutes to get past one car only to have the next car go no faster and the passing
lane just as clogged.
On those rare occasions the traffic opens a little, one of those uniformed
folks in nice cars with flashing lights who have a sixth sense that tells them
just where to be with their radar units fully functioning.
Recently, I traveled 500 miles on I-10 on a holiday weekend. I watched drivers
come by me, pushing and shoving to get ahead in the bumper to bumper traffic.
Thirty minutes or an hour later, I would see them coming from behind, doing
it all over again. A gas stop or rest stop or a cop stop had put them back in
line where they were. They may have completed their trip five minutes faster,
but what is five minutes on a 500-mile trip?
Knowing from experience that many automobile wrecks are caused by following
cars too closely, I try to leave several spaces between my car and the one in
front of me. If one does that in interstate holiday traffic, however, five cars
or one semi will cut into the four-car space you leave, hoping they can gain
a little distance on the other cars and pass them. Contrary to conventional
wisdom, leaving space between your car and the one in front of you may not be
safe thanks to thoughtless drivers.
This causes another wonderful holiday driving experience – tailgating.
When I can count the number of cavities in your teeth or the number or freckles
on your nose by looking in my rearview mirror, you might consider backing off
a little. I would never stop quickly on my own and send your car careening over
the back of mine, but the fellow in front of me might stop that quickly, causing
me to do the same. You seem like a nice person, but I do not want to meet you
that way.
In a world filled with only sane people, all drivers in interstate holiday
traffic would stay in the right-hand lane except when passing all cars, even
those who are self-appointed highway police determined to let no one go faster
than they go. In a sane world, people would relax, take it easy, realizing the
trip can be almost as enjoyable as the destination. Reasonable people would
leave several car-lengths between their cars and the ones in front; people in
the other lane would not pounce into that space like a vulture on a road-kill
possum. Holiday travel is not sane or reasonable. Trust me on this.
In a reasonable world, politeness would be supreme and recklessness a thing
of the past. We would all answer, “Yes” when asked, “Can we all
get along?” We should all drive like our families are in the other vehicles,
as well as in the back seat of our own autos. As far as I know, the rules of
Christian behavior are applicable in the drivers seat of an automobile
just like they were on the back of a donkey which, if by the way you are riding,
keep it off the interstate!
A word of suggestion. If you are driving in interstate holiday traffic, get
one of Bill Cosbys audio tapes, especially Bill Cosby Himself or “50.”
I did that and called my wife on my cell phone. “Honey, I just want you
to know if they call you and tell you Ive been found dead in interstate
holiday traffic, just know I died laughing.”