Why are hospitals so sensitive about suggestions on improving their decors
and other matters of style?
During my recent holiday in a hospital, I felt compelled to offer suggestions
on how the medical facility could look a little better, a little snappier, a
little more stylish.
Why are hospitals so sensitive about suggestions on improving their decors
and other matters of style?
During my recent holiday in a hospital, I felt compelled to offer suggestions
on how the medical facility could look a little better, a little snappier, a
little more stylish.
To begin, I suggested hospital personnel put tropical fish in those IV bottles
and plastic bags that hang from those iron poles. Left unadorned, those quart
bottles just hang there, looking like one of those bottles tied to hats of sports
fanatics with sipping tubes running down into the bearers mouth or, in
the case of an IV, an arm. Quite frankly, they are boring, boring, boring.
Just think how much more designer they would be if tropical fish were swimming
around in them, sort of like those tropical fish in those bowls with plants
growing out of their tops. There could be an array of colors and shapes of fish.
People receiving the IV would have something to watch, other than just seeing
the contents of the bottles and sacks drip down. In my recent experience with
IV, several IV bottles and bags hung above me, and had each one had one or more
fish, I would have felt much more chic than just sick
You may be thinking: “But that would not be sanitary, having fish swim
in IV fluids.” True, but could there not be some way to sterilize and sanitize
the fish? Besides, hospitals are already dangerous places to stay, filled with
sick people and their germs.
Speaking of style, how long have those hospital gowns been around? Since Florence
Nightingale? And in all those years, has there ever been an effort to spice
up their appearance and fit? No.
Since their inception, the gowns have denigrated patients. They fit like a
short parachute made of worn-out sheets. Other than to denigrate patients, their
design is for the convenience of nurses and doctors who cannot wait to stick
things in and on all parts of the patients. Patient appearance and dignity are
not considerations.
And that opening that runs up the backs of the gowns – whats the
deal? Surely, that is not there on purpose. One of my friends refused to go
out of his room for tests until nurses put two gowns on him, each facing the
opposite direction, thereby providing some covering of his body.
So, come on, hospitals, get a designer at work on those gowns so patients can
at least be humiliated in style. One more hint – dont let the
person that designed scrubs try his or her hand at the gowns. I never saw a
set of scrubs that did not look mistakes someone wore out of the bedroom.
Here is my major suggestion for those gowns. If patients are issued standard
hospital gowns and expected to wear them, a roll of duct tape also should be
issued with each gown so patients can tape the bottoms of the gowns down on
their legs, and the opening up the backs can be taped shut. Style-conscious
hospitals could issue designer duct tape.
These suggestions were offered to any and all hospital personnel who happened
to pass. To date, not even a patient representative has called to follow-up.
Oh well. Maybe the hospital personnel are too busy, doing things like trying
to get people well to worry about being chic.